Getting Personal: Where to Draw the Line?

A few months ago, I read a wonderful article by my former on-air coach and radio veteran Angela Perelli called How to Address a Personal or Difficult Situation On-Air, inspired by Jessica Zweig’s new book Be. This caused me to think a lot about how your aim to be “authentic” cannot be self-serving, but must come out of a greater intent to be of service to your listeners. 

Let’s say you share a personal experience with your audience. Let’s say the experience is a major life-crisis or loss. There’s a very big difference in how you will frame the story if you’re on the other side of it, and how you will frame the story if you are going through it currently. As I learned the hard way, unfortunately, if you’re in the midst of a crisis and you’re confused and feeling raw, it may not be the best decision to share it publicly. Why? It runs the risk of being self-indulgent. But if you have some time and distance from the event, not only will you have done some emotional processing, but you will hopefully have made meaning of it. It is from this place that you can share your story with the more altruistic intention of helping others. 

So much is being written about authenticity these days. In fact, it’s so much of a buzz word, it’s actually backfired, and now “authenticity” is seen as just another marketing tool for your brand. Kinda makes me wanna throw up. True authenticity doesn’t have an agenda. It’s not part of a strategy for your own success, and if it is, people will see right through your bullshit. True authenticity comes out of a desire to connect with others.

Being of service to your audience takes selflessness and strength. If you’re reaching out a helping hand to lift somebody up, your arm has got to be strong. And yes, that also means having strong, healthy boundaries so you never make your listeners feel uncomfortable or like they have to take care of you. You are there for them. Being of service also requires great storytelling ability. But that’s a subject for another blog post. 

Tip: Ask yourself, “Why am I telling you this?” Your answer should be active, something you are doing for the benefit of the listener. For example: “I’m telling you this to uplight and inspire you.” Or: “I’m telling this to comfort those of who going through the same thing so you so you feel less alone.”